Guernsey birds and moths

(with homage to Stan Ridgway’s “Camouflage”)

 I was a young birder on St. Agnes, hunting lifers down,
It was in October twenty twenty-five.
My pager jammed and I got stuck way out and all alone,
with my British list stuck on three nine nine.

Just then I heard a twig snap, and I grabbed my Bausch and Lomb,
and I dug in scared while I counted down my fate.
And then a big birder, a giant with a pair of crazy eyes,
appeared there at my shoulder and said: "Wait".

When he came in close beside me, he said: "Don't worry son, I'm here,
if the birds wanna skulk, now they'll have two to dodge.
I said "Well, thanks a lot", I told him my name and asked him his,
And he said "The boys just call me Leapy Lee"

Wooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Leapy Lee, things are never quite the way they seem.
Wooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Leapy Lee, I was awfully glad to see this birding machine.

Well I was gonna ask him where he came from, when we heard the pipits fly,
coming through the brush and all around our ears.
It was then I saw this big twitcher light a fire in his eye,
And it was strange, but suddenly I forgot my fears.

On Wingletang, side by side, we took our battle stance,
and I wondered how no birds missed this man.
‘Cos he seemed to see through bushes, just as if they wasn't there,
and in a moment we both took a chance and scanned.

And it was by the Parsonage when the tit-flock came on top of us,
would it have the one bird that I need?
Then a Parula with my name on it came buzzing through a bush,
and that big birder, he I.D’d it with such speed.
That’s 400 mate! Yeah!

Wooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Leapy Lee, things are never quite the way they seem.
Wooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Leapy Lee, this was an awesome birding machine.

And I knew there was something weird about him,
‘cos when I turned around he was racing round and round the island,
ticking off birds, and directing traffic, and splitting species from here to kingdom come.

When he lead me out of Covean, I saw my boat and waved goodbye,
he just winked at me from the Turk’s Head and then was gone.
And when I got back to St. Mary’s, I told them about my day,
and the birding I'd done with a big birder named Leapy Lee.

When I said his name, the twitchers gulped, and a birder took my arm,
and lead me to the Dump Clump on the right.
He said: "You may be telling truth boy, but this here is Leapy Lee,
And he's been right here since he passed away last night.
In fact he's been here all week long!

But before he went he yelled: "Parula!", and said his only wish,
was to help a young birder join the UK400 Club.
So here, take his Leicas, son. I know he'd want you to have ‘em now"
And we both said a prayer for a big birder named Leapy Lee.

Wooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Leapy Lee, things are never quite the way they seem.
Wooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Leapy Lee, he was an awesome birding machine.

So next time you're in a hide, and you feel a lifer near,
or you hear a call that your mind just can’t see,
just be thankful that you're not alone and you've got some company,
from a birding machine, the boys they called Leapy Lee

Wooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Leapy Lee, things are never quite the way they seem.
Wooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Leapy Lee, he was an awesome birding machine.

whoh-oh Leapy Lee
whoh-oh Leapy Lee
whoh-oh Leapy Lee . . . . . . . .